Eep, Crayons, and Parrots with Problems
by Sandileina
Summary: Akaya’s finally fifteen, lord love him. And he isn’t getting an elephant for his birthday. Damn. Maybe next year, eh?


**Disclaimer: **Here's a random fact: DNA is made up of polynucleotides. Here's another random fact: I don't own Prince of Tennis, or any of the characters. :)

**Rating: **PG?

**Warnings: **Shounen-ai/yaoi, fluff, slight crack, fluff, Niou.

**Summary: **Akaya's finally fifteen, lord love him. And he isn't getting an elephant for his birthday. Damn. Maybe next year, eh?

**Author's notes:** Another Rikkai drabblething. **You don't have to have read the ones that come before this, but it might help a bit. **The drabblething list goes:

**Times of Stress**

**Passing the Time**

**How to ask out Marui Bunta**

**Four Days Later**

**October Ice**

**Because I Love You**

**Evil**

**Further Nonsense**

**Dear Diary**

**Kind of… the same**

**100 Word Challenges**

**Driver in a Hurry, Child in a Coma**

**Doctor, doctor!**

**The Woes of Solomon Grundy**

**I'm Not Going**

**The Little Things**

**I Had To**

**He WHAT?!**

**Operation: Christmas Party**

**Being Fukubuchou**

**Once Upon a Time**

**My Brother Bunta**

**Dear Diary: Living with Niou-senpai**

**A Morning at the Pool**

**This is Love**

**SFRR**

**And So It Begins**

**Most Unexpected**

**This Is March 5th **

**No Small Wonder**

**The Last Day Of A Stage in Life**

**Back to Basics**

**Blame it On the Damn Vodka**

**Papercuts**

**The Stuff of Myths**

**Finally Understood**

**Dear Diary: Beginning the Third Year**

**Operation: Disbelief**

**May 21st **

**The Collective Threads**

**A Minesweeper Kind of Mind**

**Sanada Hates Random**

**Time Will Tell. Probably.**

**The Way of the Jinx**

**The Hottest Fire**

**The Name's Metaphor. Blatant Metaphor.**

**Cirque du Rikkai**

**Guess Who Fate Doesn't Like Much?**

**Eep, Crayons, and Parrots with Problems**

**The Waiting Camel**

Um, yeah… I really hope I haven't lost all my wonderful readers… n.n;; Like I said, the writing bug just completely deserted me. Phnuh.

Sorry again, and I hope you enjoy the glut of fics! The ficglut. Like a clamglut, or a chocglut. xDD –Gets kicked for the last one- C'mon, you know it's a good pun…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIRIHARA AKAYA. :DD Socks you rock, you adorable elfling you.

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"It _always_ rains on my birthday!" Akaya scowled.

He got a disbelieving look from the two others on the bench.

"What in the name of Buddha-sama's flab are you talking about?" Niou demanded. "Your birthday last year was the hottest day in September, idiot."

"But it rained the day after."

"Well, what the hell do you want? It's called a birth_day_, not a birthweek."

"Hey, lay off," said Marui, reaching his leg round Akaya's so he could kick Niou's shin. "He's fifteen today. That's a landmark. So be nice."

Niou snorted, but didn't make any further comment.

The rain really was torrential outside the bus stop. Akaya watched it thunder onto the grounds and into the almost-epic puddles with a displeased pout and a sullen frown.

'Who _wouldn't_ be motivated enough to try and cheer him up with that expression on?' Marui thought fondly. 'Really?'

"Oi, bratling. You're now almost a fifth through your entire life. Congratulations."

'… Stupid question.' "For crying out loud, 'Haru!"

"I'm being nice!" Niou protested. "I said congratulations, didn't I?"

"You're meant to say 'happy birthday, yay for you' and leave it at that!"

"I don't do birthday celebrations," said Niou dismissively.

"Yes, fine, but you don't tell him things like that!"

"It's alright, Maru-chan," Akaya muttered. He glowered at Niou – sideways, not full on. Full on was dangerous; it was likely to rebound off Niou's eyes and spear into your brain. "Niou-senpai's just horrible."

"Yes, yes I am," Niou drawled. He looked rather pleased.

"What do you want for your birthday, anyway?" Marui asked. "Now that you know what you got sent from your Kaasan. What did she send again?"

"A toy frog." Akaya pulled a face. "I'm fifteen! I don't want kid's toys!"

Niou gave him a Look.

"Well, crayons, yes. But they don't count. They're for everyone, and they're the best things ever anyway," the curly-haired boy defended. "You played with them once," he added with satisfaction.

"What?! I did _not_. What the hell would I want with your crayons, bratling? I actually act my age, unlike you."

Akaya smirked. "I asked Mura-buchou, and he says that…" He screwed up his face in concentration and said, "… 'Haru has a deeply suppressed inner child that he resents and feels that he absolutely shouldn't have, but lets out on occasion because of his self-destructive nature so that he can feel guilty and miserable about it afterwards and then take it out on other people to relieve the childish guilt."

There was a moment's pause.

"Well, now you're definitely not getting an elephant for your birthday," Niou growled.

Marui burst out laughing. At the 'I-_seriously_-just-lost-some-face-here-so-I-may-kill-or-otherwise-maim-you-for-the-sake-of-my-pride' glare that he got from Niou, he quickly pulled Akaya onto his lap (not an easy task – to his dismay and to Akaya's glee his boyfriend was now threatening to grow taller than him) as a shield.

"You weren't gonna get me an elephant," Akaya said accusingly through a triumphant grin, settling on Marui's legs with practised ease. "You weren't even gonna get me a card or wish me happy birthday or not make burnt toast for breakfast. So there."

"I _could_'ve gotten you an elephant," muttered Niou darkly. "And you should be damn grateful I make you anything at all. I could just let you forget to eat breakfast."

The bus chose that moment to arrive, and the three got on, bickering. Marui gleefully played devil's advocate until he sensed that the two would actually start throwing themselves at each other, and then he backed off and waited for Niou to revert to death threats and Akaya to pouting. Death threats and pouting were _fine_. It was the bared teeth and extra space between words respectively that you had to worry about.

Akaya was coming over to Marui's for dinner so Niou got off a couple of stops early, still mightily pissed off at both of them. But that wasn't too much new – in fact, Marui reflected, it was good to get him annoyed at you at least once a day. Otherwise he might get Bored and drag Akaya into mischief that may or may not involve tormenting junior high first years.

They lay contentedly on Marui's floor after dinner, listening to quiet music and for Marui's parents to call a goodbye – they were going out somewhere. Marui had forgotten where. All that really mattered was when they were coming back, which wasn't until past midnight. Plenty of time.

Until they left, though, all was peaceful in Marui's bedroom. Even his little twin brothers, Akio and Saku, were being quiet wherever they were in the house.

"Did I tell you about Mr. Wiggles and Haruhi?" Akaya asked abruptly. He was slightly muffled; his head was entrenched in the juncture between Marui's throat and shoulder. He could feel Akaya's lips move against his skin when he talked – it kind of tickled.

"Yeah. You said they made friends, right?"

"Uh huh. If Mr. Wiggles could swim then they could play catch or something."

"Can't tarantulas swim? I thought all spiders can swim."

"Spiders can swim?" Akaya looked alarmed.

"Um. Maybe. I don't know. I'm not a professor of arachnids."

"They'd better _not_ be able to swim," Akaya muttered.

"They probably can't. Probably. Ask Mura; he'll know for sure."

Akaya nodded, then grinned against Marui's throat. "I'll get Yanagi-senpai to do an experiment with spiders and swimming," he said. "That'll be fun. We can pretend that Niou-senpai's a spider."

That made Marui chuckle, but he said (more for the morality of it than any real conviction), "I think that'd be a bit too cruel. 'Sides, what would happen if he survived? You and Yanagi would die horrible, horrible deaths."

"Hmm. I guess." But Akaya's grin didn't fade.

"You know," Marui said, "you remind me of a kitten with a knife when you grin like that." He couldn't see Akaya's face, of course, but he knew the exact expression that would be on it.

"A what? I'm not a _kitten_. I'm a… hawk with a knife."

"Has to be a domestic animal," Marui said lazily.

"Fine. A tarantula with a knife."

Marui had to consider that a second, but let it pass. "Alright, yeah."

"What does that make you?"

"Me? I'm a puppy with a gun."

Akaya grinned again. "Niou-senpai's a guinea pig with napalm."

"Mura's a cat with a switchblade."

"Yanagi-senpai's a crocodile with a… mouth."

Marui let that one slide again. "Jackal's a rabbit with cyanide."

"Yagyuu-senpai's a… chinchilla with an air rifle."

"Fukubuchou's…"

"A parrot with a problem," Akaya cackled. The two sniggered childishly for several minutes.

"Bunta? Your Otousan and I are going now! Be good!" The voice of Marui's mother floated up from downstairs.

Marui glanced to the window. The rain outside had stopped. "Alright! Have fun!"

"We'll be back for one, alright? Make sure Kirihara-kun gets home safely, and put the twins in bed by ten at the latest!"

"Will do!"

The front door opened, then shut with a thud.

Akaya pulled his head up long enough to exchange a glance with Marui. They broke out into frighteningly similar smirks and Akaya swung himself over Marui's stomach.

"You never told me what you wanted for your birthday," Marui said conversationally, playing for casual as teeth nipped his earlobe.

"Don't care," Akaya mumbled. "Think of something later."

Marui smiled and nodded with difficulty. "Happy birthday again, baby," he purred, lifting a hand to Akaya's cheek.

"Shut up and lie still, damnit."

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Sandy: Mwa. I love him so much it's ridiculous. xDDD

Please, please review? Even if it's to tell me how bad I am for not updating for so long? n.n;; Help me through my workload and my Boring, Lifey Things to Do?

Questions, constructive criticism, random theories, ranting (YES!), suggestions, quoting, general love; all are welcomed and adored. Especially the quoting :D It helps me improve my writing if I know which bits people like best. Oh yes. n.n

Until next time! –Goes to write 'The Waiting Camel' now-


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